I didn’t understand the value of time until the age of 26, when I lost my father unexpectedly. My father and I had a bit of an estranged relationship for 10 years. It wasn’t until 3 weeks before he passed, that I was ready to nurture our relationship for what seemed like the first time ever. I didn’t know that three weeks later he would have a heart attack and die. I spent many years carrying guilt around how many years had gone by that we did not speak to one another other than a few hugs and hello’s a year. I wished and sometimes still do, that I can turn back time and love him for those 10 years disconnected.
Though we have such a beautiful spiritual connection now, and neither of us no longer carry any guilt, it completely shifted my perspective on time, how it is spent, who it is spent with. It shifted my mindset on what truly matters and what does not. It made me have a whole new outlook on the meaning of unconditional love. It made me reflect on conversations I no longer should put off. His sudden death changed me, in the most fucked up and perfect way. Today I know that time is the most precious, undervalued, gift from God that can be taken away in a second.
My second “WOW, time is so precious and fleeting moment” happened when I had my first daughter just a few months after my fathers passing. Before I had her, I started to think about how I wanted to raise my kids and how I wanted to spend my days with them. I asked myself what would be the dream for me?
I knew that when my first baby came into this world, I wanted to be with her every single day for the first few years of her life before she went off to school. If the job didn’t allow me to have her with me, it was a no for me. No, to sending her to daycare 12 weeks after having her. And no, to work to build someone else's dream anymore. I also wanted my husband home with me to enjoy these precious years and be an actively present parent (with time), something I didn't have as a kid, since my mom worked her ass off every single day to provide and my dad wasn’t really around from what I can remember. All I wanted was time. Time to spend with my family, on nobody else’s account but my own.
Thankfully, I had already been working a job that provided me with all of the flexibility I was looking for. The ability to stay home and the ability to earn enough for my husband to actually quit his 9-5 to be home with me and begin to pursue other passions. It has been the most fulfilling and peaceful entry into parenthood.
Almost five years and two babies later, having seen just how quickly time passes with them, there is nothing that matters more to me than my time with them. To never miss a boo boo or a first step, to be able to take the trip in the middle of the week, to jump in the pool with my kids at 1pm on any given Wednesday, to visit family whenever I want, to go on a lunch date any day of the week. To be home with my husband every day to kiss each other at any moment just because. To get ahead and not struggle financially so that I can do what I want with my time. That is what matters to me. That is what drives me every day. These are the things that make me happy and make me feel like my time is spent well.
I had to get in control of my time for me to have everything I desire. I needed to stop giving my time to the wrong people and the wrong things. I needed to take care of myself, so that more time was spent in joy than in pain.
Ok, enough about me. Let’s reflect.
Ask yourself these questions and take some notes:
What truly matters to me?
If there are moments that matter most to you, that you do not get enough of, what do you need to do to change this?
Do I value time?
Do I allow too many minutes, hours, days, months, years go by not pursuing the dream, mending broken relationships, scrolling on social media because I think time is infinite?
Do I value it enough to get in control of my time to the best of my ability?
This is a simple yes or no. Would I rather stay comfortable, or take more risks to spend my time the way I would like to?
Do I spend enough time with the people I love the most?
If there are people you would like to spend more time with, knowing tomorrow is never promised, are you making a conscious effort to make time for those people. Friends, family, significant others.
Do I feel drained or inspired by the people I am surrounded by?
Change your circle, change your life. Stop wasting your time on the wrong people.
Am I doing what truly fulfills me?
Stop saying tomorrow. Go for it now!
If I knew I had limited time left on this planet, what would I do differently?
Let’s hear it. Take action.
Tomorrow is never promised, so live today with intention, love fully, and make every moment count.
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